Can attractive people afford to be shy?

It's confession, and apology time.

It's dawned on me that I’ve been unfairly judging attractive people for being rude and ‘too cool for school’, when they might just suffer from crippling shyness.

Sadly, both behaviours look IDENTICAL.

---

Picture the scene

It’s a local residents' meet-up to discuss noise pollution. Yes, the skateboarders are back, despite the signage (guess my age?).

Someone is hovering at the edge of the group. They’re half-glancing at their phone and not partaking.

You want them to be involved, the noise pollution is getting quite annoying after all, and needs addressing. Plus, it's always nice to meet your neighbours etc.

Now…

If that person looks like they could be a beautiful A-list actor or model according to conventional beauty standards (I am suuuuuch a good person for that phrasing) - then my brain might have gone:

Too good-looking to get involved in the chat are you?
Waiting for more attractive people to talk to?
Oh I see - we're all too butters for you?!
Why don't you stay on your phone, and chat to your fit mates and look stupid whilst we all have a laugh and you make zero new pals.
Because I've got news for you: we have personality. Ever heard of it?!
Doubt it - as you're too busy gliding through life thanks to your immense beauty which I obviously fucking wish I had.
Well, I'm not going to make any fucking effort with you as you clearly can't be arsed for us and your mere presence reminds me of the total lack of interest I had from people when I was younger, so you - along with all the other wannabe models in the world who didn't blink my way - can go fuck yourself.

Additionally, you have waived your right to a say in this neighbourly get-together, and I hope the skateboarders congregate exclusively outside your home and Rodney Mullen¹ your driveway to shreds.

---

Quentin Massys' The Ugly Duchess

Now, picture the same scene

But…

…instead of a movie star lookalike, the person is someone you’d picture during sex to delay climaxing. Ali G's example was Mo Mowlam, but she’s passed away so it feels disrespectful to reference her (again, suuuuch a good person).

I’d probably think:

Aw, they’re a bit shy.
Who are you, kind, mysterious stranger?
Allow me to extend an olive branch of neighbourly friendship.
Your story doth intrigue me. Tell me - from whence do you hail?
Do you require sustenance? Here - you may drink from my teat.

So yeah. Stark (and quite odd) contrast there. One is a hate-spewing incel you'd want on every watch list, the other is a poorly written Dickensian side character.

---

An apology

My slight suspicion is that baggage from my childhood was causing me to act up, and I need to be less judgmental.

So to all the shy fitties out there:

I’m sorry for my bitter energy. I’m actively working on my personal growth and unlearning toxic behaviours. Going forward, I promise to treat you like the rest of us revolting losers, with empathy and kindness.

P.S.
a question for you:

Am I alone on this one? Be honest…

1. Rodney Mullen is a skateboarding legend who redefined what people thought was possible (and he was my fave character on Tony Hawks 2). Check him out here.