The Tim Henman (OBE) conspiracy
They told me 'to stop digging - you won't like what you find'. I wish I'd listened.
In 2016, British tennis star Tim Henman, aka Tiger Tim, went undercover.
It was for a light-hearted YouTube advert for the drinks brand Robinsons (everyone’s second favourite variety of squash - Ribena is first, obvs).
Some lucky families won the chance to be trained by the head coach at Wimbledon, Dan Bloxham. Dan is a real bloke, he’s legit.
But what these unsuspecting families didn’t know was that Tim Henman would also be there - in a cunning disguise as a Robinsons rep.
Tim joined the training session and yes - he was a bit better than people expected. He then slowly peels off his disguise to reveal his true identity… Tim Henman. It’s truly magnificent content.
Feast your eyes:
Can You Guess What’s Wrong?
Something felt off about this video, and naturally - it haunted my dreams.
Give it another watch.
Notice anything weird?
Here’s a clue: it’s NOT that they made his character look like he has three months to live due to a rare skin condition.
It’s a single line of dialogue, or to be precise - just three letters.
Towards the end, participants react to the hilarious prank, and one woman says:
“I thought, yeah, funky beard, quite an interesting hairstyle. When he started peeling it off, we were like, Oh my gosh, it’s Tim Henman OBE.”
OBE. (the posh title you can get awarded in the UK)
Tim Henman OBE.
She referred to him as Tim Henman OBE
No human has ever casually referred to anybody with an OBE as ‘full name + OBE’.
Just imagine:
“We were in Cafe Nero and guess who walked in… Alan Titchmarsh OBE”
or
“When we were teenagers, my mate Adam had an unhealthy obsession with Keira Knightley OBE”
It’s the most unnatural phrasing I’ve ever witnessed on screen, including all forms of rare porn. ALL forms.
So What Happened?
I had to know.
Did Henman’s management insist on the OBE mention? I checked about 10 other interviews from that time period - he’s just plain old Tim Henman. Barely even a Tiger Tim (which is even more disrespectful).
Maybe the video agency assumed that’s what he wanted. Like an arse-kissing gone wrong (that’s also a rare porn category, don’t watch it).
Was it Robinsons’ evil-doing? After all, there’s something very underhanded about the drink genre of squash. They’re delegating part of the production to us, but we’re still paying the same?! (That observation is crud, but I’m keeping it in to make the other stuff seem more original).
Maybe Robinsons was meddling like a typical client? Always getting involved with the creative. Bloody client!!! Who works in marketing and gets what I’m saying?! Come on!!!
The video was made by ‘Red Consultancy’, and from the off - I don’t trust them. Their logo isn’t even red. They clearly have zero regard for the truth.
Perhaps the woman (let’s call her ‘Lady H’) was part of their team but got fired as she kept calling everyone by their full titles and it was too annoying.
“Yes I had a lovely brunch with David Blacksmith BA (Hons) and Sharon Marks BA (Hons), MA.
How was your weekend Susan Rogers CertEd, DipHE, BEd (Hons), QTLS, FRSA?"
Then I Became Quite Scared
After the 47th viewing of the video, scanning it for clues, a fear started to creep in. It wasn’t caused by what I was uncovering, it was by the possibility that I was wasting a disgusting amount of time investigating a total non-event, and I need to have a serious word with myself. Perhaps I should check my privilege and dedicate my time to more meaningful and less self-indulgent endeavours? Maybe… the mere fact that this is being written when there are organisations that desperately need volunteers is an insult to humanity?
But then on the I spotted something crucial.
The Smoking Gun
I can’t believe it took me so long to notice.
Lady H is never seen playing tennis. She’s in the background, tending to the Robinsons’ stand and talking to crew members:
Whilst there’s a slim chance that Lady H is a genuine parent having a natter and quenching her thirst with some Lemon Barley... why is she walking with a microphone, and passing it to a camera operator?
It's undeniable evidence she’s part of the production team.
Rewatch the video - it’s crystal clear.
I couldn’t believe it. A 90-second branded video for a major corporation has elements that are not 100% authentic.
My perception of reality has been shattered.
Doubt now clouds all my sensory experiences.
This world has been exposed as a Matrix-like simulation.
Nothing is as it seems.
Trust nobody.
Though it doesn’t explain why she said “OBE”?
P.S. That Guy Is Familiar
I presented my findings to my girlfriend. After her standing ovation and proclaiming, “Now THAT is journalism” (that’s how I remember it), she immediately pointed out:
Does Tim Henman need a disguise? He already looks like every normal bloke. (Amazing)
The other interviewee is ‘Father of Daughters’ on Instagram and has almost 1m followers. He's a bloomin' pro!
Rewatching the video, his line “Robinsons is summertime in England isn’t it?” should’ve been a giveaway.