A secret (and highly rated) Edinburgh Fringe venue
It's not even on the official map
Whilst over 200 official venues host groundbreaking theatre, dance and comedy, there's one unofficial location that holds a special place in my heart…
Fountainbridge Leisure Park. aka: Fountain Park.
(full disclosure: I fucking love a leisure park).
During a Fringe stay, Fountain Park is the ultimate tonic. An escape. A cleanser. A reset. A blooming good larf. Even a short attendance will increase your enjoyment of Fringe shows tenfold. You'll be refreshed by one reality, ready for the other. That’s not a suggestion, it’s science…
The science bit
Psychologists call this hedonic contrast. It's the idea that an experience only feels good when it sits next to something very different. Like ice-cream and a warm brownie, or lying down after you've been on your feet all day.
Parducci's Range-Frequency Theory1 says that we judge experiences relative to what came before them - not in isolation. Solomon's Opponent-Process Theory2 suggests the brain literally recalibrates emotion, so pleasure only peaks if you've had a dose of its opposite first.
Fountain Park isn’t a treat - it's a necessity. Without contrast, everything flattens.
But any leisurely emporium is only as great as the sum of its parts. So let’s break down its current offering. Spoiler: it’s OFF THE CHARTS.
The 5-Star Line-Up
Cineworld
Your standard massive cinema complex. It's in decent nick. 4DX seats if you want to be thrown around like a ragdoll at the expense of actually enjoying the film. Very doable solo. I gravitate towards horror films during the Fringe for some reason. Make of that what you will.
Gravity Trampoline Park
A fave. Bring a pal or two, bounce on trampolines, bash each other with foam pads. One year, I earned city-wide kudos by becoming a VIB - a Very Important Bouncer (it’s a cheap add-on anyone can buy that grants unlimited visits. Now bow to my greatness!)
Nuffield Health
This basement-level, windowless pool and gym has served me well (not the gym part, but it's there, and they do classes). I've been trying to get better at swimming ever since my dog almost drowned and I couldn't swim fast enough to reach him (fun times).
There's also a sauna and steam room, if you enjoy "a quick spritz" (first and last time I'll ever use that term).
You can find multi-day deals via Wowcher or book individual days cheaply through apps like Classpass or Hussle.
Side note: Whilst swimming, what is the etiquette when you see tiny babies in some sorta class where the mums are all singing to them whilst bobbing them around in the water? It's basically the cutest thing you can witness but it doesn't feel right to look for too long when you’re half naked and panting after attempting a few lengths. But it also feels wrong not to look, it's really adorable! I think a few loving glances is fine? Acknowledge the cuteness, perhaps even more overtly than normal? Catch a parent’s eye and make the ‘awwww’ face, which indicates that you think it's cute, and you're comfortable enough to be caught admiring the situation. Though, the danger is that you don't catch a parent's eye and you over-guffaw, which will look even more problematic. Thoughts welcome.
Funstation
A fucking massive arcade. Nuff said. Get in.
‘Tenpin’ - hosts bowling, table tennis and pool
It speaks VOLUMES that despite my love for all three of these activities, I've never been because the other options overshadow it (there’s karaoke too btw). On its own, Tenpin would absolutely warrant the 'Best Venue' accolade.
Crazy Golf @ Volcano Falls
2 x full 18-hole courses under one roof, with animatronic dinosaurs that blink 'n everything. Plus background rave music.
My only qualm: the holes themselves are not ‘crazy’. A right-angle putting green or a slight slant is ‘alternative’ or ‘Zooey Deschanel cooky’ at very best. With all the money spent on dinosaurs, put some madness into the actual golf ffs! For reference: Junkyard is certified (by me) as ‘crazy’ - trust.
Laser Quest
One for the young'uns (I'm distinguishing them somehow). Great for a team outing - zap away all your resentment.
Hotpod Yoga
Last but not least - hot yoga. This would probably be top of many people's lists of what counts as a refresh/detox/cleanse.
Food
Expect all the franchise faves (though a Pizza Express would be nice):
Nando's. Wingstop. Five Guys. Burger King. Starbucks. Pizza Hut. Heavenly Desserts. And of course: Mr Basrai's World Cuisines which has a highly intriguing Trip Advisor review:
To be clear
I wouldn't recommend visiting Edinburgh exclusively for the leisure park. But my god, I'd respect that.
It’s a top leisure park, irrespective of the Fringe. But when you put it alongside the festival, it reaches new heights.
Without light, there can be no dark. Without crunch, there can be no soft. Without Fountain Park, there can be no Edinburgh Fringe.
(That's why Tiramisu is such an overrated dessert. Where the fuck is the contrast in texture? Give it a crunchy base or something! As it stands, it's just 100% soft, like a poo).
Thanks for reading.
Let me know your favourite secret Fringe recs…
Parducci, A. (1995). Happiness, Pleasure, and Judgment: The Contextual Theory and Its Applications. Lawrence Erlbaum.
Solomon, R. L. (1980). The opponent-process theory of acquired motivation: The costs of pleasure and the benefits of pain. American Psychologist, 35(8), 691-712.